Emotional Intelligence is King

Emotional Intelligence is King

Coaching is one of the key things that many people reach out for today. With the arena of impersonal communication channels through social media, Apps and dating sites, individuals find it extremely difficult to connect on a personal level.

A key factor to connection is using emotional intelligence. Most people forget to use these skills and learn about each other by spending quality time talking and listening. Instead they tend to social media stalk each other. It’s here that I have to remind them they are only viewing a persona, and not getting a true idea of what the person is really like.

Studies prove having an emotional intelligence skill leads to success, a better IQ and life experience. Emotionally intelligent people are grounded, reliable and capable of doing pretty much anything, or handling any situation. On a global scale individuals prefer to do  business with a person they trust, someone who is grounded and real, than someone that isn’t authentic. Even if that person is offering a better product.

What is emotional intelligence?

It’s basically how well we handle ourselves, our relationships at work and in our personal life. It comprises the following four components:

    1. Self-awareness – Know what you’re feeling and why you feel it. It’s a morale compass and grounds for good decision making.
    2. Self-management – Handle your impulsive feelings and behaviours, so that they don’t cripple you or get in the way.
    3. Social awareness – Understand emotions, needs and concerns of other people through empathy.
    4. Relationship management – Combine all the above together.


Why it’s important

People pay thousands to master emotional intelligence through courses. Why? Because you learn how to enhance your impact, influence and resilience, and how to enhance the performance of employees at work. On a personal level, having emotional intelligence helps you recognise friend from adversary. It reduces stress and you’re able to return to a state of balanced equilibrium, where you feel love and are happy. These essential abilities depend on successful non verbal communication that can connect you to others and their emotions.

Emotionally intelligent people have the following qualities that make them:

Flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralysing and a major threat to success and happiness. They look for change and easily form a plan of action.

Self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. They’re difficult to offend. Nothing really bothers them and are usually surprised when you get emotional.

Say ‘no’ and exert self-control. It helps them honour their existing commitments to successfully fulfil them. If you find it difficult to say ‘no’ you’re more likely to experience stress, burnout and even depression, according to research at the University of California, San Francisco.

Let go of mistakes. They know how to distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without forgetting and learning from them. By doing this they’re able to adapt and adjust for future success.

Dwelling on mistakes makes you anxious. Forgetting about them makes you bound to repeat them. The key to balance lies in your ability to transform a failure into an improvement. This creates the tendency to get back up, each time you fall.

Give and expect nothing in return. When an emotionally intelligent person gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, it leaves a powerful impression.

Don’t hold grudges. They let it go quickly. Negative emotions like holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event can send your body into fight-or-flight mode. This survival mechanism forces you to fight or run away. Holding on to grudges may also contribute to high blood pressure and heart disease.

Won’t let anyone limit their joy. They feel good and don’t let anyone’s opinions or negative remarks take that away. Don’t compare yourself to others, and take other people’s opinions lightly. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within.

The new sexy

Emotional intelligence is definitely the new sexy. It’s easy to develop with the right tools and practice. Learning to communicate like a master helps achieve emotional intelligence. You will learn to affectively self regulate emotions, respond from a place of reason, and become a successful leader, team member and individual. You naturally  become more resilient and learn to communicate more effectively so that you can easily make connections, network and bring colleagues together to work on projects. Being emotionally intelligent simple means you manage your emotions, instead of letting emotions manage you.

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